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Thursday, August 13, 2015

Let it Happen


It is hard  for me to address this subject on this blog, but I don't intend to act as if this part of me does not exist. After all, depression has been a companion of mine for a number of years now. It is such that can I no longer imagine an existence void of mental illness. Daily activities become a struggle, and sometimes completely impossible to accomplish. I do want to make a separate post in which I will go more in depth about it, however, after having a rather bad episode this week, I felt it necessary to start now. My depression has kept me from enjoying and achieving so many things in my life but it has also taught me about myself, taught me how to find my strength. 

I do not want to hide behind a forced smile. The fact is I struggle. I struggle to believe that I have value, that I don't deserve my current state of sorrow, that I am worth much more. My depression has made me quite fearful of change; be it positive or negative.  

And change is coming. I'm fighting hard to put my fears aside and take in the good vibes coming my way, because I do deserve to be happy and do what I enjoy in life. Learning to find positivity and purpose within me is so hard. I did not think I had it in me, but as it turns out, I DO. When I am able to shut down the internal debate, I focus my energy towards my dreams and maybe someday, they will stop being dreams (and soon too hopefully shhh...) *v*

Outfit details below!



Dress : Shop Tunnel Vision | Choker : Shop SpaceTrash | Dsico Leggings : Asos |
Bra : Lane Bryant | Shoes : TUKshoes


6 comments:

  1. Ok so I just wrote a comment and then I think it got deleted but I'm not sure so sorry if I send this to you twice although it will be different cuz I can't remember the exact wording hahahah.
    Basically, yes. Yes to this post. Yes to this outfit. Yes to YOU! You are so amazing. I also suffer from depression so I know where you're coming from. I'm so glad to hear that you aren't going to let depression hold you back from life- that's so huge! So many people are going to be SO inspired by you being yourself and owning it, you know? I am so glad to have found you on the interwebs, you are an incredible person!!! 💗💗💗💗💗

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    1. I don't know why it took me so long to reply but THANK YOU! You were and still are a big inspiration to me, my embracing myself and sooo many current fashion choices. I was so happy to read your words and that you actually took the time to read what I had to say and I was so intimidated to talk to you! Such a beautiful soul you are too<3

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  2. I love this post, I also have depression and I know how tough it is <3 I absolutely adore this outfit, you look epically cute.

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    1. Thanks Rachel! I just noticed that people tend to forget that I'm still a real human and I don't enjoy being idealized.

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  3. Hi i just posted a comment but I'm not sure, it may have been deleted. I just love your shoes! I went on the TUK site and the pictures shown had a lot more orange and yellow in the flames than your flames, which make them a lot less appealing. Are your flames more of a burnt red with hardly yellow and orange or is my screen playing tricks on my eyes?

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    1. These shoes are the bomb! When I bought them, I expected for the colors to be more vibrant, like the picture on the website, and every picture I'd seen of them online was just as you describe. It was the opposite for me actually I was a little bummed that they weren't a little more vibrant. I don't know if the pattern on each pair they send out is different, but it might just be the case. I would suggest emailing them about it before you purchase if you are that put off by the colors :).

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