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Thursday, August 13, 2015

Let it Happen


It is hard  for me to address this subject on this blog, but I don't intend to act as if this part of me does not exist. After all, depression has been a companion of mine for a number of years now. It is such that can I no longer imagine an existence void of mental illness. Daily activities become a struggle, and sometimes completely impossible to accomplish. I do want to make a separate post in which I will go more in depth about it, however, after having a rather bad episode this week, I felt it necessary to start now. My depression has kept me from enjoying and achieving so many things in my life but it has also taught me about myself, taught me how to find my strength. 

I do not want to hide behind a forced smile. The fact is I struggle. I struggle to believe that I have value, that I don't deserve my current state of sorrow, that I am worth much more. My depression has made me quite fearful of change; be it positive or negative.  

And change is coming. I'm fighting hard to put my fears aside and take in the good vibes coming my way, because I do deserve to be happy and do what I enjoy in life. Learning to find positivity and purpose within me is so hard. I did not think I had it in me, but as it turns out, I DO. When I am able to shut down the internal debate, I focus my energy towards my dreams and maybe someday, they will stop being dreams (and soon too hopefully shhh...) *v*

Outfit details below!



Dress : Shop Tunnel Vision | Choker : Shop SpaceTrash | Dsico Leggings : Asos |
Bra : Lane Bryant | Shoes : TUKshoes


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